County commissioners narrowly approved a conditional use application for a longtime dog breeding kennel on…
Dear Anne: I live in the countryside and have always found a wonderful kennel for my dog. The people working there are the owner and two helpers; all are kind, efficient and obviously dog lovers. The kennel costs $40 per night. My question is, how much to tip? Sometimes one of the helpers is working when I pick up my dog, and sometimes it’s the owner. Should I tip different for the helpers vs the owner? Please advise. I want to do them good! — Asking for a tip on tips
Dear asking for a tip: Thank you for your kind words. You speak like a thoughtful and considerate person. Typically, the tip can represent between 15 and 20% of the services rendered. Tipping the owner is not technically considered good etiquette, as the tip must go to the employees. But since you frequent this business often and like the service they provide your dog, it’s a kind gesture to tip generously.
Dear Anne: In response to “Sick of being treated this way,” I’m 73 and have spent much of my life being complimented for looking and acting younger than my age. Of course, I appreciate those compliments. After all, doesn’t our culture glorify youth?
But I’ve had naturally white hair for a few decades, and I guess my wrinkles, though not many, are starting to show more. So yes, sometimes people offer me a seat or ask me if I would like some help carrying a heavy item from a store even though I regularly carry heavy loads while maintaining my garden.
But you know what? I have learned to view this as a way of showing respect for their elders, which is much better done in other cultures where the youth has not been placed on the pedestal that we seem to have given it. In fact, when I think back to the times it bothered me, it’s because it’s my ego that comes into play, kind of wanting to pretend that I’m part of this great American cult of all things young .
At the same time, isn’t it a sign of kindness (or maybe even guilt) when a young, healthy person sees someone who might be a bit more fragile and decides to offer them their place? ? If you don’t want to accept their offer, why not just say “No, thanks anyway” and be glad they care enough to ask? When people ask me if I need help carrying my groceries, I can understand that they noticed I might be struggling, then smile and say thank you – and maybe even let them take charge, even if not necessary.
Why must we so often be offended when others try to reach out? Is it because our pride doesn’t leave us looking a little vulnerable or needy? Being “treated differently just because you lived longer” might be a good thing, a sign that respect and concern haven’t gone the way of the dark ages! — Glad to live longer
Dear happy to live longer: You offer a great perspective on aging. Our culture seems to glorify youth. Still, growing old is a privilege and something to celebrate. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice from My Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s first book – with her favorite chronicles on love, friendship, family and etiquette – is available in paperback and e-book form. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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